Grandma left us at 3:30pm on the 19th February 2009 at the age of 91. We had prepared ourselves for the inevitable as her health had been drastically deteriorating in the past few years and have been bedridden for a while. She had suffered from multiple stroke attacks and her organs collapsed and lost their functions one after another. Grandma fought a long hard battle and letting her go was love and mercy on the part of those who loved her and are proud of her.
I am anguished at how little I know of grandma. All I know about her is that she was born during the first world war in 1918 in dapu county, guangdong province, China and was sold to my grandpa's family at the age of 13 as a child bride. She married grandpa at the age of 16 and had 5 remarkable children and many grandchildren and great grandchildren.
After losing her husband, my grandpa at the age of 76, she went to live with her children and traveled to many countries with them. She went to Perth with us in 1994 and I remember her going in the adventure park too, which of course she couldn't go on any rides. But she did go on one of those slow, crawling monorails
Grandma had all the traits of a Hakka woman. Fierce, independent and strong. From my mother's childhood stories, I learned that Grandma was a strict parent, almost authoritarian and was relentless and fiercely protective in the upbringing of her children, wanting the best for them. She did however, raise her children well despite the lack of formal education herself. All her children turned out successful in life and came to love and respect her and took great care of her until the last moment. She couldn't have hoped for better children.
Grandma cooked the best authentic Hakka cuisine which we all looked forward to every Chinese New Year. From my childhood memories, Grandma visited us frequently as we lived a walking distance away. And she would always come to our place after squabbling with grandpa and she never once failed to bring me and my siblings a pack of Ligo's raisins. Until today, we would think of Grandma whenever we see ligo's raisins on the supermarket shelf.
Grandma and mum conversed in Hakka and somehow, I understood the dialect without ever picking it up. And I would smile to myself whenever Grandma asked mum if we had been good and of course we were
. Mum, being the ever filial daughter would insist on giving grandma her monthly allowance and grandma would insist on not taking it. So, the war would begin and me and sis would look at the ang pow being forcefully shoved from one to another. Most often, sis and I would just sit back, amused and watch them do their mother-daughter thing. Of course, it would always end up mum winning and the ang pow would end up in the unhappy hands of grandma.Grandma would accept the ang pow very reluctantly but she had her ways of putting it back into the 'economy'. You see, besides good old Ligo's raisins, Grandma would give us ang pows whenever she came to stay with us. So, it wasn't hard to imagine how delighted we were to have her stay over (yes, we were greedy greedy children) Compared to mum, sis and I were a lot less subtle, we would say 'aiya, no need la, no need la you keep for yourself la' while already pocketing it
Then we moved to our new place in Klang and saw less of Grandma. But, she would come stay with us for a period of time once in a while. Sis and I would take turns giving up our beds for grandma and sleep on the mattress on the floor. And how often we laughed when grandma break wind during her sleep (it became our inside joke after a while). Our other inside joke was that we would both stand by each side of grandma and hoist her up from the underarms so that we could walk faster and not have to wait for grandma with her slow footsteps
(we NEVER did that, don't worry). More often, me and sis would mock grandma's long winded tendencies. She would repeat the same thing not once, not twice, but up to five times (which we likened to a broken record playing over and over again) and we would end up laughing hysterically as we finished her sentences for her since we already knew what she was about to say.Whenever grandma called on the phone for mum, her first words were always her trademark LOUD 'EH, WHO ARE YOU?' and we would have to spend the next ten minutes explaining who we were and our relation to our mum and sometimes we were so naughty that we would mess with her. Although we often amused ourselves with grandma's antics, we actually enjoyed having her around and always invited her to come stay again. We would always be by her side holding her hands while crossing the roads or walking down the stairs even though her jelly like wrinkled hand felt very geli in mine
Admittedly, we spent less time with her as we grew older, with more of life demanding commitments from us. (Grandma was also the one who funded my tertiary education which I could never fully express the depth of my gratitude in my lifetime). I was especially reluctant to see her after mum's passing as we kept it from her (Grandma got really upset and had a stroke after learning her other daughter, my aunt had a stroke and we decided it was for the best to keep the tragic news from her). Often, she would ask about my mum and it would pain me to see how much she missed her daughter and how she longed to see her again.
I am sad about grandma's departure but also relieved that her sufferings had come to an end. I believe she is in a better place now and reunited with grandpa and mum. I feel there is nothing to be too sad about because she had a good, long 91 years on earth and had great children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. She had great stories, had traveled the world and had loved and been loved. She was a remarkable woman, she was
Rest in peace, grandma. You will be remembered forever.
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