I count my blessings, do you?

I am overwhelmed with gratitude. I look at my legs. There are scars, bruises (I get fresh ones every few days from the way I dance, the latest was from having pirouetted into the wall due to space confinement ), stubs (for I havent bothered with the shaving and waxing lately) and what nots. My calves are humongous  My legs are ugly and I have never been and never will be a leggy lass.

But I love them with all my might although they are not aesthetically pleasing. I love them because I am able to walk and God bless, dance. I can dance, dance and dance all night because of them. If writing was Marquis De Sade's constant erection, as proclaimed by his honorable self, then dancing is my perpetual mind orgasm in life.

I love the scars and bruises on my legs because a story lies behind each and every one of it. I love them because they are testimony to a fiery and nonperishable passion. I love my body simply because it materializes my piteous existence into perspective albeit a dust in the vast cosmos. I love my body simply because. And, this is not another narcissistic indulgence.

The Breakthrough

I think I just experienced my first major breakthrough in dance. I performed a solo contemporary dance two nights ago (a very Mia Michaels inspired routine) choreographed to Imogen Heap's The Moment I Said It. There I was dancing and all of a sudden, I felt a surge of internal energy and focus I never knew I had in me and I imploded. I was on fire and I was dance, dance was me. I was a tiny speck of dust in a sandstorm, I was free falling, I was spiraling out of control yet I was at the eye of a cyclone. I think I even had an out of body experience.

I could hear the eerie music but it seemed distant. I knew people were clapping but I felt I was on a different plane. I felt I was dancing for nothing but for dance itself. I felt I was dancing on a whole new level and on that level, nothing matters.

I wish I could die like this. I wish I could die on stage after my ultimate breakthrough someday. And so I shall die peacefully and I shall be remembered for a long long time.

Just some photos of me and Sis being silly after our performance

Blogging again

I started my first blog back in 2003. No one was surprised that I had finally succumbed to the lull of the cyber writing and sharing phenomenon as I had always enjoyed writing. Truth is, I did not start blogging because of my love for writing. I started blogging because I could not talk to anyone about what was going on in my mind and life during that distressful and troubled phase. My blog was my salvation at that time. It was the only thing that kept me sane and my life in order.

I took down the blog last year as I was too consumed with work and blogging became a luxury I could not afford. But I miss the times where I would sit in front of my computer, contemplating on my next blog post. I miss putting my thoughts in words. I miss blogging. So I am back!

So stay tuned for hot fresh blog posts!