I am always mildly amused when people point out to me my quirks and idiosyncrasies, especially those I am unconsciously guilty of. I guess it's still nice to know that people take notice of you even if its just peculiarities of your character and whatnot. My friend Rebecca was the first to point out my slight obsessive compulsive disorder with food a while ago. Apparently, everything on my plate is always neatly divided with no chance of a food crossover. Note the word 'apparently' being used as up till her observation, I was completely unaware of operating on this system all this time.

Yesterday, a cast member from the musical I am currently a part of asked why I brush my hand against the wall every time before I reach for the door knob in our dressing room. I explained it as one of the measurements I take to prevent static shocks. Old habits don't die, instead they become an automated process that bypass your conscious level while carrying it out. I was surprised anyone even noticed.

So, I was mildly amused twice today.

Broken Bridges

今晚是“断桥”音乐剧的首映。 我在黑暗的后台悄悄地偷望观众席， 看到爸爸坐在台前的第二排， 我忍不住泪流满面了。 我从五六岁起开始习舞登台表演都已二十多年了， 爸爸很遗憾地从没观赏过我的演出。 但这音乐剧对我而言意义重大所以几个月前我已不断要求爸爸别错过这次的演出。 我们艺术界的最渴望的就莫过于观众的赞赏， 尤其家人的支持。凭着满腔的热情和不屈不饶的精神， 我们走这条路经历了多少心酸和坎坷往往不为人知， 真是 “台上一分钟， 台下十年功”， 但这是我们的选择。 演出结束后， 我跑向观众席给了爸爸一个熊抱， 内心感动的实在不想放手。 爸， 谢谢你。 我爱你。

A kiss a day

In my family, hugs and kisses or even a simple 'I love you' are extremely rare occurrences, to the point of almost non existent. I can literally count with my fingers on the times where such display of affection was ever exchanged. It was just the way we were brought up, a lingering product of a cultural hangover from the older Chinese generations.  Admittedly, it has always left me wanting more, some form of deep unfulfilled desire for affection and intimacy. Compensating this and truly understanding the power of love, I hug and kiss my friends, my sister, niece and even students as much as I can. I am working on telling my old man that I love him every day too but Rome was not built in a day. It remains a fiercely dedicated work in progress however. 

Perhaps being on the giving end rather than the receiving end more often had me momentarily forgotten the wonderful feeling of a simple hug or kiss. Yesterday morning, my housemate had to wake me to attend to a matter in the house as she was in a hurry to get to work. She knew I have been working very hard where my days have turned into nights and nights into days. I was slurring and instead of asking her for the time, I asked what day it was as I had really lost track. She answered Monday then kissed my cheek before letting me stumble back to slumber land. Although I fell back into sleep again almost immediately, my heart was warm and I was smiling. That wonderful feeling lasted the day. What a way to kill the Monday blues. Just thought I'd share :)